“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dwyer
I love straight lines. I love predictability. I love knowing.
I have found that these things rarely exist in a world that expands and offers fulfillment and growth. When we seek to ensure that we live within the straight, known and predictable lines, we deprive ourselves of the ability to grow, change and experience a new and potentially better life.
Not knowing the outcome, being willing to be uncomfortable in the not-knowing and just letting it be for a time is the thing that will ultimately provide this growth and amazing perspective on life.
For me, it seems that it has taken more than a few decades to get to the point where I have been able to stomach the thought of sharing “me” with the world. This insecurity has run deep and has been powerfully fuelled by a sense of obligation, shame and a need to protect those that would feel exposed.
I started by writing.
Writing down my story was a deeply therapeutic process whereby I could see where I thought incorrectly, where I failed and why. Seeing my life in black and white characters on a page pulled out emotions of exasperation, anger, embarrassment and pity and brought me back to feeling so helpless that my stomach clenched.
“Life is not fair” my mother would say matter-of-factly when me or one of my siblings would wail about the unfairness of life, whether about privileges or the size of the piece of chocolate cake in comparison to someone else’s. But I have come to realize that although some things do happen in life that are not “fair”, as adults, we have a tremendous ability to dictate how our lives progress by our choices and our attitude about it.
As a result of this, I decided to share my story, my truth with the world. It does not fit within straight lines, the results of sharing this story are not predictable and I know not of where it will take me. My hope is that it could empower someone, anyone to make a choice that betters their life. To let them know that it’s okay to not know the next step or the one after that. What is important is to choose to live with your ultimate goals in line.
Thanks for joining me here, and spending a few of your valuable moments with me today.